Monday, July 17, 2006

hey...long tym nvr update...i juz change my edit my blog background..muz be wondering y suddenly sae tat "my heart could luv nomore"...well..lets share 2dae's happiness first bfore i tell u wad happen 2 my heart...i mayb happy outsyd but the sufferings insyd onie i can feel...
well..2dae is the battle of the stars in my skool and im the emcee..its fun and relly xciting...bfore tat morning..i could not sleep coz of the nervousness...and tat morning im realie scared tat it would be terrible but it juz moved on smoothly...and 2mrrow is the heritage carnival tat i realie afraid gonna corked up coz the preparations is not realie ready...but well muz haf the confidence...
well..now lets tell the story of my heart tat had suffer alot coz of falling for guyz tat i realie had it...recently i told u bout tis guy tat is my primay skool fren..he saes tat he lyks me..but i ask him to wait..but after i agreed he saes tat he wans to remains single...do u noe how i felt..lyk an idiot...coz for all i noe i nvr luv him,,and tiz guy whom i lyk for three yrs..i juz could not 4get him tat easily eventhough i haf 4gotten him much...well..its not much of luv...its juz memoirs.. then i fall 4 tiz guy...recently..i lyk him since i c him first tym..but its not kolled luv(i tink)..but..after tinking much..i realised tat dere are too many differences btween us eventhough he still doesnt noe..he's not frm my skool..and he will nvr noe..coz he doesn even noe me well...its juz me tt admire him...
but..well..i juz cant luv animore..i really cant...my heart haf been destroyed coz it haf been broken so many tyms tat i tink tat deres no such tings as true luv... nopex...i dun tink true luv exist..it exist in films and movie but not realiti...coz all i gone thru for luv is pain and hatred..i haf done much sacrifices tat i tink tat luvs are only pain..thorn in the heart...i tink gerls lyk me go thru tiz and its tym to realise tat deres no luv 4 us...its sad but facts...experiences tell me tat...i realie wish tat someone i luv will luv me 4 who i m..but its juz wish and to face the facts..yesh..luv dun exist in my heart from now on...i juz hope tat onedae one guy will proof me wron and i hope tat i could luv again...
for now..my families and frens are more important...i will not haf luv for any guy for now so tat my heart can be fix and trust true love again...it will takes tym but i realie hope tat onedae my rite guy will come and makes me beliefs tat true luvs exist..for gerls lyk me..for now..i will lwy low...lyk wad my god brother, bambang sae..luv are not to be search coz love will look for us..and im waiting to be look for...by my rite guy and it will take along tym..by then..my heart will be cured...and im waiting for tat dae..hope it will come...
now...i had to go...coz got alot of things to get ready for 2orrow heritage carnival and i realie hope evryting will go well...go as planned....okae..gotta go now!!...i hope to write soon...vry soon indeed...byez!!!
Friday, July 07, 2006

hey!!!...i vry happy at last...hehe...i 4got my own blog password...now i rembr it at last...erm...i got lots of ting to tell wad had happen to me..i cant tell u hw im feeling now daes...so lonely and damn sad...haiz...ohh..y m i feeling lyk tis..its kinda of pyse(malu/shy)...
erm...i realie dunno..during one of the last part of the holidaes i meet a primary skool guy..hu was then my primary skool guy..we chat and then he revealed tat he had fallen for me despise my fatness and uglyness..well..he said tat he had fallen for me seriously...haha...u believe it.. haiz..i dun realie but after tat he pick me up from mac donald where i werk..i then starts to haf feelingd for him..then i try to keep it to myself until i could no longer stand it..only a little feelings coz its not even kolled LOVE but its called LIKE or INFACTUATION....well...i decided to revealed to him after he said tat he is waiting 4 me but there is 3 gals waiting 4 him..but, believe it or not...he said he wanted to remain single after he made me confess...arg!!!...i dunnoe whether i can still trust guy's sweet talks which then bcame poison in gerl's heart tat ltr weakens her and kill her slowly....
well..lets not talk bout tis..coz i feel hatred in my heart rhough he is now my fren..only FREN..
hehe..lets talk about world cup...my favez is out!!..arg!!...my brazil...its the only country i supported heart and soul...hehex..xp..erm...then during the holidaes olso i got tis camp kolled the spec course camp...i became a sargeant now...yeah!!...next..i met tis chinese guy at a 3day camp tat doesnt stay overnyte...i met tis guy tat attracted me since first tym at met him somewhere at cdc...ohh...his face...his smile...HEY!!...come on!!he is juz my admire...juz the same as i admire Fauzie Laily and the guy at anugerah skrin finalis name...SHAH ISKANDAR MAHFUZ...ohhh....he is so cute...but SHAHRIL is not bad wif NURUL HUDA......
well...tok about tat reminds me of my studies tat realie had flunk..but im going to catch up... and the bartley idol tat im the announcer and the heritage carnival..ohh..how great...im so happy...vry happy...and vry excited...ohh...hahahazz....
ohk....i hope to write up soon...gonna miss ya all..byez...cya....BYEZ!!!...